And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
