i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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