Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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