In the future we'll all be gay
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
