I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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