Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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