If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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