i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
