That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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