Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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