Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
