Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
