the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
