we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
