i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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