: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
