I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
