he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize