I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We are all done wearing pants today
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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