oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
