i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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