But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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