Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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