I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
