Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
