Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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