His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
