they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
