On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
