Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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