i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
