Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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