You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
