i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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