Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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