community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
