I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I fill condoms, not promises.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
