oh god the rape fog is back!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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