You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
