Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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