And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
