dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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