Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
