I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
