singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
