this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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