You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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