our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
