Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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