My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
