You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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