I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
