You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
