Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
