weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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