I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
