Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize