Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
