i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
