I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
